Just Enough

I must be due for an update.  I know when I start getting questions all at once.  And not that I avoid talking about things... but sometimes when normalcy kind of creeps in, I want to lay down and roll around in it.  So I've kind of been doing that for a few days.

We are in the 3rd week of the 2nd round of chemo.  Each round is 3 weeks long and having one under our belt was helpful, but not exactly a duplicate of the next. There were more days in this last week where we could pretend to not have cancer and be normal that I've almost been holding my breath for this week.  You don't even realize the pressure...until at one point this week, I consciously quit worrying about something kid related and didn't feel relief.  I told Scott it was like someone took a grape off the pile I'm carrying and in that moment, I remembered abruptly that I am carrying a load---fears, concerns, trying to decipher what I can and can't control.... and although my faith is in the Lord and He ultimately holds it all together, I am human.

We know we are super fortunate with how these chemo weeks have gone.  Scott doesn't feel overly nauseated and has relatively few days of terrible.  We have a few concerning symptoms that we are trying to understand and manage--and if we've learned anything, it's that we have to advocate for ourselves and figure some of this out.  But we also celebrate the good days.  We are so grateful he was able to travel out of town this weekend to watch one of our kids play soccer!  He is a tough guy for sure, and we are just blessed by how His body is handling this. We haven't had as many deep, aha moments.  But instead, the encouragement and text messages trickle in at the perfect time. People still aren't forgetting us which is staggering to me.  The Lord continues to provide just enough--with people's timely words for us, unexpected visits, meals.  He knows just what we need and we see His provision daily.

This week, Monday Scott has a COVID-19 test and CT and Wednesday we will meet to discuss what they saw.  He is scheduled for Round 3 of chemo as well, although this really hasn't been discussed with the Dr. This is the week for prayer warriors!  Not that God works in our time at all...but our minds do!  We will see if and how the cancer is responding!  We will be making decisions about continued and next steps.  Please pray that we will hear from God very specifically.  We want to do what He wants and live out our part obediently.  That balance is interesting sometimes.