After Round 3 and good news in the last post, we had a Groundhog Dayish few weeks of that round. The first two weeks are a roller coaster of not-so-hot, better, then maybe not so great again. The third week, we have come to to expect normalcy which is a welcome reprieve. Scott usually returns to work whole days and is so close to himself, we almost forget cancer is still such a big part of our story.
We go tomorrow for Round 4. We will have a brief appointment with the nurse practitioner and then he will sit and get injected with all kinds of things. The next few weeks may potentially come with answers about how much chemo, is radiation coming soon, and what the plan might be going forward. I say "may" and "might" because I've come to know not to put my confidence in doctors, in appointments, or even in hopes that their plan will be communicated verbally at all. These recent months have brought new meaning to "one day at a time". Looking too far out can almost bring me instant hyperventilation and it is subject to change anyway, so why waste the breath.
I have been hanging on 2 Chronicles 20. It's been sent to us multiple times, by different disconnected people, in different months. I have picked it apart, taken notes, and just tried to figure out what God could possibly want to say to me in it. The last several weeks, I have toggled between the Go...and Stand firm. The people were told to go...and they moved. And they were told to Stand Firm and watch God deliver them. Action and ultimate trust. Both. What is my go? And what is my stand firm? There is such a fine line between research, food, vitamins and minerals....and trusting that this is God's deal and His alone. Where do I need to go (do) and where do I need to stand firm (trust)?
We have walked out praying and continuing to ask God for the miracles we know He alone is capable of. We have pursued wise reading and council regarding natural remedies and conversations about food as medicine. We continue to do what the oncology world is telling us as well. These 2 different worlds don't coexist super well so it requires us to advocate for ourselves and ask God what He wants from us.
For now, we believe we have good balance. We know without a shadow of a doubt that in our God alone do all things hold together. We stand firm in that He loves us and is guiding us every minute. We go when He says and wait when He says, the best we know how.
Please pray for Scott and his side effects from these rounds of chemo. Each round builds on the other and it really is straight poison. He is a trooper and gets up, gets dressed and wears cologne, even on the days he feels like he got hit by a truck. He rarely complains and is present with our kids and in his business. But it is frustrating when your body doesn't do things perfectly and you feel weaker than before.
Pray for our kids as this journey is very much theirs too. Pray that they all continue to or seek the Lord for the first time throughout this. He is the only One who can meet their needs.
And pray that God is glorified in our lives and our story. That we would have opportunities at every turn to talk about who He is to us and all that He is doing in our lives! That same 2 Chronicles passage says that when Jehoshaphat was scared, he set his face to seek the Lord. I am working to keep my face set, even if the Lord is having to gently grab me by the chin sometimes to hold it there.
Thank you for your continued prayers and love and support!
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